Talking with terfs, transphobes and/or other assorted bigots about what it means to be trans or gender diverse is often like playing logical whack-a-mole. I thought it might be useful to build up a list of trans paradoxes to help readers combat shifty logic in conversations that they might encounter.
This page will be tweaked and updated from time to time as I encounter painfully notable eye rolling moments.
Trigger warning: if you experience negative emotions when you read this page, I suggest you google “cognitive dissonance”.
- Trans women are apparently simultaneously both failed ‘male’ athletes but also winning all of the female prizes and sports, or at least preventing cis women from competing (my hockey team usually doesn’t have enough players so that is a lie). This paradox presupposes that male athletes are at least an order of magnitude more accomplished than female athletes. I, and many others, believe that this paradox is rooted in internalised misogyny. Cis women aren’t necessarily lesser sporters … often it comes down to shitty publicity where their achievements are not trumpeted. There are many examples when female athletes have bettered their male counterparts. I’ll start you off … google Fiona Kolbinger for example. I bet if you put your mind to it you will find more examples of cis women bettering cis men than you will examples of trans women bettering cis women.
- Many terfs, transphobes and bigots are quite vocal in arguing that “transgender athletes” (which in their world is code for trans women) should not be competing in sport against cisgender female athletes due to the “massive advantages” conferred on them by male puberty. To the uninitiated this may sound like an arguable point, yet those same terfs, transphobes and bigots usually passionately argue in other conversations that trans teens should be routinely denied puberty blockers, therefore forcing them through an unwanted male puberty, thus ultimately denying them the ability to play in female sports. A two pronged approach that is intended to permanently prevent trans women from ever playing sport with their friends … and yes, when someone mounts these arguments to you, they almost certainly are referring to community sport as well as elite sport. As an aside … there is no across the board, in every sport, in every position, in every team sport innate advantage for trans women … does anybody seriously think that Laurel Hubbard, a 185cm tall weightlifter weighing 147kg could play competitive women’s hockey for example, let alone for a national team? Hockey players are best when nimble and agile. Each body, cis or trans, male or female, has it’s own innate sporting advantage.
- Insults hurled at trans women by terfs, transphobes and bigots are nearly always indistinguishable from those hurled by cis female bullies at other cis women. Every time one of these insults is hurled at me I wince because it does hurt, but I also remember to smile on the inside because deep down, the bullies are repeatedly proving to me that they do know I AM a woman and that deep down they still think that there is only one way to be a woman. Newsflash: those days are now where they should have always been … in the bin.
- you aren’t pretty enough
- you aren’t petite enough
- you aren’t sweet enough
- your hair isn’t voluminous enough
- your muscles are too bulky
- you have more than no facial hair
- you aren’t feminine enough
- you are mentally ill
- you don’t spend enough time daily on your presentation
- your clothes aren’t feminine enough
- you dress like a whore
- you don’t have a female figure
- you aren’t demure enough
- you are too bossy
- nobody likes you
- Trans people as a cohort are often accused by some of being utterly unfuckable while at the same time trans women are being fetishised in private by a cohort of cis men (the so-called “chasers”) that haven’t yet come to terms with the fact that being attracted to trans women does not make them a pervert.Â
Â